Jussie Smollett’s Hired Henchman Forced to Charge Him $25 Bounced Check Fee

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CHICAGO - In possibly the oddest detail of an already odd case, police reports confirm that Jussie Smollett payed off his faux assailants with a personal check like it’s 1995 or something.
When asked for detail on the matter, one of the brothers paid to fake the attack said “we were already on the fence about executing what was clearly a questionable plan, then this guy writes us out a paper check like a octogenarian at a  grocery store and we knew it was only a matter of time before we got busted. 
What’s worse is we hadn’t gotten a chance to cash the check until after Jussie emptied his accounts retaining lawyers, so when we do recover our money from him, we’ll be forced to charge him an additional $25 fee, as is standard in the fake hate crimes industry.”
Smollet is now facing charges of felony disorderly conduct which could result in up to 3 years in prison making it unclear when he’ll next have the option to pay for such services like an out of town grandma sending Birthday cash to her grandson.

Posted on March 3, 2019 .