Brimhall's Words of Wisdom

After turning thirty this last December I’ve come to realize that I’ve actually acquired some useful, yet maaaaybe not practical, pearls of wisdom. I am now going to bestow one of those pearls on you. Free of charge.

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“ If someone ever lets you have unprotected sex with them outdoors , instead of renting a room, you shouldn't marry them. ”

Every self respecting person deserves a roof over their head, and a piece of furniture under them while they're having sex. (This doesn't apply to camping) A recent sleazy and inappropriate conversation with someone made me realize this. In my case I had an ex that followed me behind a garage at a party and after relieving myself we proceeded to hook up. I remember her saying how romantic it was being under the stars and us having sex but I couldn’t help but think how this was far from romantic. We were both grown ass adults at the time. This wasn’t that teenage love. The kind that had to be expressed but there were siblings around so you had to find a tree with no one around and park your $500 first car under. This was two adults at a public gathering going to pound town behind a garage. I had my own place at the time so we could of easily went back there. After a few more years our relationship ended on horrible terms and this valuable lesson was learned. Have respect for yourself, people. Do it indoors and avoid carpets.

Posted on January 6, 2018 .